Relationship / Personal Questionaire

Love Ed 201
2.2) Relationship / Personal Questionaire
The whole point of completing this questionaire is to ensure that you understand who you are, your likes and dislikes, your positive attributes and posssibly some things you need to work on.
You may also want to put a star next to the descriptions that you think are very important, significant, or might be a problem that needs addressing. Remember the whole goal of this exercise is to learn about yourself and your partner, and thus increase the love you have for both yourself and each other.
After your partner completes their questionaire (or you can take it together), you can compare the results and discuss areas for improvement and compromise so that both of you can get a better understanding of your values, strengths and weaknesses, and significant issues that you can work on together in order to improve your relationship and level of happiness.
Note: this is not a questionaire that you can add up your score and compare it to someone else's score. It is merely to be used as a guide to help both you and your partner understand where both of you are coming from, where you are at now, and where you want to go.
Also realize that at different stages of your relationship and at different times of your life, your answers to these questions will likely change.
On a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself as to which description most applies to you, the one on the left side or the one on the right side.
(1)-Left-side <---------------------(5)-Both--------------------> (10)-Right-side
Example: On question #1) if you mainly use your logical/thinking brain, then you may be a 2 or a 3. If you use your gut feelings to make most decisions, you may be a 9 or 10. If you use both equally, you may be a 5, or somewhere in-between.
If you are in a relationship now, you can answer each question for yourself, and then write a number down for how you think your partner is best described. Maybe you are a 3 and they are an 8, thus 3 : 8
Another way to answer these questions is to merely circle or underline the left or right description that most applies to you. If you are in the middle, circle the dash between them. . . . . . Date:______________________

Mind Questions:

1) Thinking / Left Brain Dominant - Feeling / Right Brain Dominant _ : _
Mathematical - Verbal / Pictorial / Graphical / Auditory / Touch _ : _
Introvert - Extrovert _ : _
Artistic / Creative - Not very Artistic / Creative _ : _
5) Intuitive - Not Intuitive _ : _
Good at dealing with stress - Not so good at dealing with stress _ : _
Patient - Impatient _ : _
Prefer spontaneity - Prefer planning and organization _ : _

Spiritual Questions:

Strongly religious - Slightly religious _ : _
10) Prefer praying daily - Prefer to have less daily prayer _ : _
10A) Prefer to go to church every week - Prefer not to go to church _ : _
Strongly spiritual - Slightly spiritual _ : _

Heart / Feeling Questions:

Are you emotional - Not very emotional _ : _
Do you deal well with your emotions? - Not well with your emotions _ : _
Do you feel confined? - Do you feel free _ : _
15) Prefer giving - Prefer receiving _ : _
Self-respect very important - Self-respect not that important _ : _
Do you have high self-esteem? - Low self-esteem _ : _
Respect for others very important - Respect for others not that important _ : _
Personal Boundaries very important - Boundaries not that important _ : _
20) Communication is very important - Communication is not that important _ : _
20-A) Do you communicate well - Do you need to work on your communication skills _ : _
Compromise very important - My way or the highway _ : _
Slow to anger - Quick to anger _ : _
Easily forgives - Hangs on to resentment _ : _
Quick to criticize - Prefer mindful discussion to solve problems _ : _
25) Humor not important - Humor very important _ : _
Seriousness not important - Seriousness very important _ : _
Thoughtfulness not important - Thoughtfulness very important _ : _
Have many regrets from the past - Have few regrets from the past _ : _

Body Questions:

Athletic - Not very Athletic _ : _
30) Energetic / Hyper - Relaxed / Casual _ : _
Strong / Muscular - Delicate / Fragile _ : _
Tall - Short _ : _
Heavy (Endomorph) - Slender (Ectomorph) _ : _

Personal Preferences:
- PowToon
Strongly motivated by money - Slightly motivated by money _ : _
35) Money very important to happiness / success - Money not that important _ : _
Prefer time together versus long work hours to make money - Money more important _ : _
Prefer to live in the city - Prefer to live in the suburbs / country _ : _
Enjoy watching sports - Enjoy watching movies / other, (Sitcoms/News) _ : _
Prefer being in nature / camping - Prefer being in a hotel _ : _
40) Prefer outdoor activities - Prefer indoor activities _ : _
Prefer home cooking - Prefer eating out _ : _
Prefer meat - Prefer fruit and vegetables _ : _
Like to stay up late - Prefer to go to bed early _ : _

Family / Friends Questions:

Good relation with parents - Not so good relations with parents _ : _
45) Good relation with siblings - Not so good relations with siblings _ : _
Good at identifying friend vs foe - Not so good at identifying true friends _ : _
Friendships not that important - Friendships very important _ : _
Prefer many friends - Prefer fewer friends _ : _
Enjoyed school - Did not enjoy school _ : _
50) Had a happy childhood - Had an unhappy childhood _ : _
Happy with my appearance - Not happy with my appearance _ : _

Relationship / Love Questions:

Time alone/apart not very important - Time alone very important _ : _
Time together not that important - Time together very important _ : _
Does your partner spend too much time with friends? : I do not mind being alone / ignored _ : _
55) Intimacy / Hugs / Holding Hands not important - Intimacy very important _ : _
Sex not that important - Sex very important _ : _
Love not that important - Love very important _ : _
Fidelity not that important - Trust / Fidelity / Faithfulness very important _ : _
Marriage counseling may be helpful - Marriage counseling not useful _ : _
60) Prefer separation of chores for each partner - Prefer both partners share same chores equally _ : _
Desire many children - Desire only one or two children _ : _
Children desired soon - Children can wait for a while _ : _
Parenting classes may be important - Parenting classes not useful _ : _
Prefer strict discipline for children - Prefer less strict discipline _ : _
65) Prefer public schooling for children - Prefer private schooling / home schooling _ : _
Prefer lots of time with family / in-laws - Prefer less time with in-laws _ : _
Prefer to live near family / in-laws - Does not matter _ : _
Are you overly defensive? - Not easily offended _ : _
Are you sensitive / understanding? - Not very sensitive _ : _
70) Are you kind / compassionate? - Not very compassionate _ : _
I can easily entertain and enjoy myself - I need others to help me feel better, enjoy myself _ : _
We like to spend a lot of time just talking - we don't talk much _ : _
Do you make plans without asking your partner? - I always ask before making any plans _ : _
Do you turn into a mind reader when your partner is upset? - I do not assume what is bothering my partner, I ask instead _ : _
75) If your partner is upset, is it always about you? - I do not assume it is my fault, instead I ask kindly, "is there something wrong?" _ : _
When it is your fault, do you apologize? - I seldom apologize since I am seldom wrong _ : _
I often my raise voice / use a negative tone when having difficult discussions - I usually keep civil _ : _
Do you sometimes get into yelling matches, or worse? - Not very often _ : _
Do you prefer a clean house? - Clutter is OK _ : _
80) Prefer a 1/2 hour or more of totally "alone" time per day to grow my soul - Time alone not required _ : _
Prefer to be told "I Love You" every day - Prefer not to be told that I am loved _ : _
What are your hot buttons, things that set you off:
___________________
What are your cool buttons, things that please you:_
_______________________________________
What are your phobias, anxieties and fears:_
_______________________________________
85) What are your favorite things in life / What do you love:_
_______________________________________
What activities do you enjoy the most with your partner_
_____________________
Which activities do you least enjoy with your partner
_
What other activities do you hope you can enjoy with your partner soon
_
What are your hopes and dreams as a couple
_
90) What are the key things you are looking for in a partner:
_
What are the key things you don't want in a partner:
_
What are your best attributes / strong points:
___________________
What are your weak points you need to work on: _
_________________________________________________
If you have a partner, What are their best attributes / strong points:_
_____________________________________________________
95) What are their weak points they need to work on: _
___________________________________________
96) Do you share similar political / governmental views: _
_
97) Do you believe in similar humanitarian issues such as:
a) Respect for others regardless of race, gender, age, nationality, class, sexuality, appearance, political or religious belief, physical or mental ability. Yes / No
b) Empathy and willingness to understand the views of others from their standpoint. Yes / No
c) A belief that individuals and groups of people can make for positive change. Yes / No
d) Appreciation of and respect for diversity. Yes / No
e) Self-esteem and accepting the intrinsic value of oneself. Yes / No
f) Commitment to social justice, equity and nonviolence. Yes / No
g) Concern for the environment and understanding of our place in the ecosystem. Yes / No
h) Commitment to equality. Yes / No
Special thanks to the Peace Education Network of the British National Peace Council for these insights.
_________________________
Now that you have completed this questionaire, what stands out to you as your strengths, and which are your weakness that can be improved or addressed?
Are you OK with the mind, body, feelings and spirtual aspects of yourself?
If not, do you need to change your thoughts and feelings about your negative aspects, or can you actually create physical changes that will help yourself and others see you in a better light?
Part of this exercise is to understand that it is OK that you are not perfect (no one is).
Keep in mind the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
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